1) My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
2) There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.
3) Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
4) Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
5) There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly
6) Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
7) I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
8) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
9) Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives.
10) Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

hope these 10 quotes made u a bit happier and maybe hornier den b4 reading it. have fun for the hols!