I guess the most of us who is reading this post already knows our result for 2007 National Schools Canoe Competition. Forgive me, those who don't, because I don't feel like typing the result here.

Here I stand, sad, disappointed, indignant. The former 2, it is easy to understand why I am feeling so. But indignant? Why am i feeling pissed? This time, my anger is not directed at myself, for having lost this round of competition, not even being able to get pass the heats round. Raffles Canoeing compromises not only of our current batch of student-canoeists, but also of her teachers, her coach and her seniors. I believe that the most of us, especially the competitors, have been left feeling dejected at our final result. Despite this, we have kindly-straightforward comments reaching us: hey, your result is not good enough! hey you didn't work hard enough! hey you're lousy and you can't even keep a boat heavy enough to qualify! hey! hey! hey! These comments would have been fine if they didn't carry with them the tone of despise, of saying that "we had not worked hard enough, and we were not motivated enough".

To me, such comments served only one purpose: they denied, put down all the sweat and pain that we had undertaken the past year and a half. I don't care if the comments were directed at only a few people; the moment anyone else but the competitors ourselves got angry at our result already shows little the commenter had shown any form of understanding. All they cared about was results. They are denying those times I saw Kane contorting his face and pushing his limit, those times I saw Kenneth Kong running the extra rounds because "my running is some sh*t now", those times I hear Sheng Lin say "Come on guys, lets go!", those times I see Shawn practising his strokes with anything he could find, those times I hear about Timothy cycling to and fro and running his marathons, those times Bernard tried to kill me with "one more round" for several times, those times I see Cheryl come early in the morning to do some morning training before going for lessons, those times I see Javine coming back from a 10km run around Macritchie Reservoir, those times I hear Jing Cong shouting colourful language to spur himself on, those times I see Boon Shing wheezing from after runs, and lots more I have not mentioned. Do you not see what's missing inside what I've just mentioned? Water training!

Other students in RJC feel that us training 4 times a week seems to be quite massive already, especially for student standards. They do not understand. Of these 4 trainings, only 2 of them goes into water time. Almost every canoe cca in other schools have them at least 3 times weekly. That works out to (AT THE VERY LEAST) 50% MORE water training days than us. NJC canoeists have around 200% more water training days than us. So you say they don't have a life. I'm telling you they do, and have it well too. Think about it. Our water trainings are already held so few times a week. What, as a coach, would you do to make up for the lost time? Train more on those days of course. And not just a little bit more. More, enough to make up for that 50%, 100%, 200% loss in time. How efficient do you think those trainings are? Do you think that RJC canoeists are machines who can register every training optimally, without feeling the effects of exhaustion? Do you think it is more effective to study for 5 hours straight for one day in a week than it is to study 1 hour consistently for 5 days of each week? How long do you think your attention span can last you?

Realise that those 4 boats (i consider James' too) that qualified for the finals are those belonging to the talented. Kenneth Loo, Kaiyang, James, Marcus and Shenghao. Yes, they are talented, and they trained very hard too. But even Kenneth was toppled from his position of 1st from last year, and Ky didn't get the positions he was expected to get. WHY?

The world is unfair, and there is nothing any of us can do to change that. Everyone is born with varying talents. The winner of a competition is always the one expected to have done the most hard work. If you won, it means you worked hard. If you lost, it just means you haven't put in the effort that the winner had. BULLCRAP. Don't you believe that for once. I am not afraid to say that I am very untalented in canoeing, and still the result this time around was a crushing defeat to me. To me, it had been a symbolic competition, to say that those without talent, as long as they worked hard, much harder than those who with it, can still stand a fighting chance to gain a medal. It is not difficult to imagine that the past few days had been one of the lowest moments in my life. I sacrificed my grades for canoeing, and canoeing failed me. I was not able to bring hope to those who had looked at me and said: "hey, he's untalented but he still made it! what's up with that? can I stand a chance too as long as I fought hard?". I was no able to fulfill the expectations that had been placed upon me. I had underestimated my opponents. I used to believe that men should never stop daring to dream and work towards it, that destiny was always within one's grip.

And I still believe so. But it truly is difficult when the available options open to you doesn't allow you to do so. And thus, I get very, very angry when others, outsiders, look at us and said: "whoa, this team hadn't trained hard enough, therefore they lost." I, for one, am very proud of this team I am in. Everyone's sweat and blood will stay in my heart for as long as my memory serves, and longer. Be disheartened not when others look upon you and say that you have not worked hard, for they know not the tough times we had been through, and out of. If they refuse to acknowledge our effort, then there is nothing much left for us to do. Those times we had fought hard and still gotten a fourth in heats, semis, know that we had done our best with what available resource we had open to us, and that immense competition we faced was also conversely experienced by our opponent who will in turn respect us for who we are. The world cares only about results, but that is because they do not know us well. Results can never clearly reflect who we are as persons, because only those of us, your teammates, who had been through that thick and thin with you, will understand that the times we had, all the sweat, had all been worthwhile. That, and not the perspective of the world, is what truly matters in the end.